Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. But I have been through my fair share of shit, and I tell my friends this all the time: I think we go through shit so we can help others go through shit.
I have been asked so often by people close to me in my life and also complete strangers online what resources I use for living my own happy, healthy and beautiful life. So please take all of this below with a grain of salt; it is purely what I have tried, loved and would wholeheartedly recommend to my best friends.
Maybe one day I'll tell my full mental health story, but for now if you're interested, I've got some posts up already about my dance story, not failing university, life after dance, my breast reduction story and graduating university.
For now, let's get into things that might resonate with you on your own journey:
Professional support
- Therapy
I used BetterHelp because it was online, fully remote and fully flexible, which was perfect for someone like me always on the go. I met with a therapist on a weekly basis for about eighteen months.
- Your GP
In case you need more in-depth, hands-on support and would like to explore medication or other professional medical help.
- Your HR department or Works Council
If you work and have access to these resources, either because the source of your frustration is work-based, or you need to take time off from work to recover.
- Don't forget your self-care
Getting your nails done, having a facial, going for regular check-ups at the dentist, optometrist, gyneocologist... they all contribute to your toolkit of making sure you're looking after yourself.
Community
I can't say it loudly enough, when you feel like you're going through all of this alone, I promise you, you're not. Surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally. This takes time and energy and effort to cultivate, especially if making friends does not come easy to you.
Connect with your family (or remove them from your lives completely, if that suits your personal situation) and put energy into making friends (I met most of my best friends in Salzburg on BumbleBFF - it really works, because you'll come across people who also really just want to make friends).
I spend a lot of time with my best friends' pup Nacho. I travel too much to have my own dog, so Nacho fulfils a deep sense of unconditional love in me. Don't have a dog or know anyone with one? There are plenty of dogwalking apps out there these days, or you can volunteer to walk the doggos at your local shelter. Seriously, a dog running at me with pure joy and a wagging tail has fixed little parts of me I didn't even know were broken.
"You'll find people who like what you do, when you do what you like."
Exercise
As much as it's been said before, for me, exercise has been a critical element of self-love and self-care. It is almost a foolproof guaranteed method to make me feel better: shutting down the outside world, tuning into my body, sweating and moving and ensuring the healthy hormones are flowing to my brain.
Spend time figuring out what makes your body tick and what you love. And remember, you don't have to be good at what you enjoy in order to have fun. Here are some of my favourites:
Books
Reading has always been one of my favourite pastimes for escaping, learning and being inspired - you can check out my book list for some ideas. There have been some specific non-fiction books I've been reading lately that have truly struck a chord with me and helped me unravel my complex insides and understand a bit more about myself and the world around me:
- The Strength in our Scars by Bianca Sparacino
- The Culture Map by Erin Meyer
- The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman
- Seeds Planted in Concrete by Bianca Sparacino
- A Gentle Reminder by Bianca Sparacino
- Everything is F*cked by Mark Manson
Social Media Channels
There is truly so much brilliant content out there, being poured into by wise and educated people who want to share little glimpses of that with the world. Here are some of my favourites:
Spotify
- On Attachment podcast by Stephanie Rigg
- Just some damn good playlists - take time to curate your own that just make you feel good
YouTube
- Moonlight Cottage ASMR
- asmr august | Real Person ASMR by August
- hannahleeduggan
- Kara and Nate
- Bonsai Releaf
- Leena Henningsen
Lifestyle
"You have to understand that happiness does not have to be this big all-consuming thing. Sometimes happiness is your morning cup of coffee. Sometimes it is the smell in the street after it rains, or your favourite song played on repeat for three hours straight. Sometimes happiness is your friend's laughter or the way the sky looks through the trees in your favourite park. If it keeps you going, if it ignited something within you, it doesn't matter how small or grand it is. Just hold on to it." - The Strength in our Scars by Bianca Sparacino
Some things I've focused on lately to ensure my life is one I can look at and be proud of:
- Removing things - people, places, items, situations - from my life that no longer serve me.
- Checking in with my body, ensuring I am consuming what makes me feel good; for me this has been a vegan diet (since May 2020 - vegetarian since June 2012) and no longer drinking alcohol (since December 2019).
- Writing about stuff whether on my blog, in my phone's notes, to my friends, in long Instagram captions, in my notebook. Anywhere to get what I'm feeling out of my head and onto paper.
- Pursuing my hobbies with passion. Trying everything. Loving the journey.
- Turning my little mountain flat into my sanctuary, filling it with beautiful things from my travels around the world and other treasures that make me smile.
Hi! I’m Jana, a Dutch-German-British-Canadian with a dream of seeing every country in the world. I am a storyteller, photographer and adventurer passionate about documenting and sharing my travels.
Jana,
Thank you for your uplifting mental health post. I’m going through some shit myself and so it was timely. I’ll look into the resources you cited. As always you are a kind of personal development icon for me. I know I’m just one of your mother’s friends from a long time ago (Laurel & Hardie) but I knew you when you were a child and I feel very proud of how you turned out, how you live your life, how you overcame a devastating setback, and how functionally and joyfully you live your life now. I know it’s weird coming from an almost 70 year old, but I’d like to be you when I grow up!